ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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