He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize