do herpes really smell.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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