is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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