I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
