first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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