I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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