where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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