dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
