woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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