that's an acceptable place to lick
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
