It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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