I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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