Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
