Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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