u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
