Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
