the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
