I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
