so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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