I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
