if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am puke
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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