Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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