I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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