I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
