I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
