I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
