if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
