Betty ford says i'm here all night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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