I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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