her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
