still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
