Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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