I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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