physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
