"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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