She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
