So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
