I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
