Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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