I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize