yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
