We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
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You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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