please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
