he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
