i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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