apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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