i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
