If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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