I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
