i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
