he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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