my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
