So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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