I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Found the puke drawer
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
