AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
