my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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