if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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