Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize