Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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