You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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