You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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