oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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