Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
