I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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