they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
