Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
