do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
