Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
